Sandbox Politics
April 3, 2008 by thfc4
Is it just me, or whenever you wander down to the playground with your child during the week, Mums look at you with the sort of stare reserved for bums, pedophiles and wasters, or perhaps even a glorious combination of all three? And then if your little angel comes off the slide a little too hard and bumps their bottom, thus inducing a waterfall of tears, if you’re not seen to be applying immediate triage services along with more hugs than a Grateful Dead reunion gig, then you are obviously just another clueless, feckless male moron who somehow got visitation rights for a couple of hours and should not be allowed ANYWHERE NEAR CHILDREN BECAUSE YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT YOU’RE DOING?!?!!!! And hey, here’s one for all you daring Daddies out there…try saying a simple ‘hi’ or ‘your little one’s a cutie’ or even ‘have you got the time I seem to have forgotten my watch’ to one of these Gucci’d up souless shopping vessels, and you’ll be lucky if they haven’t started flailing their fake-tanned arms screaming ‘FREAK FREAK HE’S TRYING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME!’ at the top of their voices! And so it is that the Monday to Friday park-dwelling Dad is afforded all the warmth, love and respect of a leper wearing an ‘I LOVE AL QUEDA’ shirt, which is PRECISELY why the next time I head to the park during a weekday with my toddler I shall be wearing my SLAYER anti-christ shirt, because goddam it, if I’m going to do the time I might as well fit the profile of the crime…
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so what’s your point?
It’s just you sort of *males* we mothers are so afraid of. Ick.
Typical really.
I’d expect nothing less.
Hope you didn’t fracture a fake nail on the keyboard as you typed that.
(sighs)…oh Christ, a clever arse! ‘What’s your point?’ Obviously you have never walked the line of which I speak otherwise instead of glib and twee little quips like ‘what’s the point’, you’d have lept off your fucking chair and screamed ‘FINALLY, ANOTHER DAD WHO UNDERSTANDS!!!’ My POINT mr Carr’s water biscuits, is do NOT judge books by covers!!!!!!! Among others of course…
Ok, I see you’ve had a bad day, (week or month) of bitchy moms and nannies but have you ever thought that some of them might just be upset that you are a better dad than the losers they sleep next to at night? Would you rather be that park dad that gets the dirty looks or the one that DOES only get the weekend visits or better yet, the one who’s not around at all? These fake-tanned vessels have nothing better to do all day than TRY to keep their youthful figures and become their kid’s best friend. Quite honestly those kids have got the parents so trained to kiss their little asses that these ladies wouldn’t know what to do with out them. No wonder they’ve made up all the rules around “proper” parental behavior or park attire. They need to be validated somehow because their kids are walking all over them.
Be grateful my friend, that your kids are amazing creatures that, if they want to admit it or not, respect you for you, and not because you are an over protective ass kisser. And thank god you’re not a boring, self righteous park mom, not sure i’d like to see you in a Gucci dress : ) Plus I know you have the same type of thoughts about how much bad influence they are scaring their little angles with – hehehe.
Maan..
Your shit is fucking FUNNY!!! – “…these Gucci’d up souless shopping vessels” – (damn, I wish i could write like that) KEEP IT COMING DAD!! an JUsT so ya know, i was a “stay-at-home” Dad and know EXACTLY what you mean. BANG ON.