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Archive for July, 2008

IT’S BEEN EMOTIONAL…

Posted in Uncategorized on July 30, 2008 | 1 Comment »

 I suppose like most men, I default to archetypal clichés. There are things I like and things I do and frankly, about 100 million others of my species are in the same boat.  Among the more popular, and in no particular order, are;
sports, music, work, sex, sports, eating too much, drinking, driving, enjoying the view [...]

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THE HORRORS OF THE GIANT CLAM AND FATIGUE ISSUES

Posted in Uncategorized on July 24, 2008 | Leave a Comment »

(n.b. if this week’s column appears a little technically sloppier than usual, then go find a proof reader to help you get over your anal-self. I am a tired man this week, and as such, I haven’t had the time to fine-tooth comb the piece for mistakes, so if you see one, pat yourself on [...]

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IMPORTANT UPDATE!

Posted in Uncategorized on July 22, 2008 | Leave a Comment »

Due to the fact I am on an 8-day run with just myself and the toddler (no wife, no teenager) I find that I don’t have the time to get this bloody column written on the punctual schedule it has been appearing on, especially as my weekly wage for writing it is, err, nowt.
So to [...]

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*A NICE LITTLE CHAT IN THE CAR WITH THE KIDS…AND ONE WITH AN ODD TELEMARKETER!

Posted in Uncategorized on July 15, 2008 | 1 Comment »

*I will warn you now…if your life is a bed of roses saturated in the scent of an English summer garden, if your DAY is a collection of spotless mess less days with nary a need for a wet-nap let alone one gallon of Pine Sol, or if your life is stewed in denial of [...]

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A TRIBUTE TO JOHN WATERS (who’s still alive of course!)

Posted in Uncategorized on July 8, 2008 | 1 Comment »

TWENTY THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BEING A FATHER IN THE MORNING*
 
I LOVE waking up in my freshly laundered, crisp, cool white sheets (1) to be greeted by one member of the family handing me a warm double espresso with a side of lemon-infused Evian (2). I dismiss them with a grunt of thanks, stretch, yawn, [...]

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FAIRY KNICKERS

Posted in Uncategorized on July 1, 2008 | Leave a Comment »

For the umpteenth time this week, she simply would not put the train down when I asked.
“Put the train DOWN NOW! I NEED YOU TO PUT YOUR KNICKERS ON!”
“I DON’T WANT THOSE I WANT FAIRY KNICKERS!”
“YOUR FAIRY KNICKERS ARE IN THE DRAWER, YOUR FIFI ONES ARE HERE, PUT-THE-FIFI-KNICKERS-ON-NOW!”
“I WANNA GET MY BLANKY!”
“B!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ! GET OVER [...]

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